I want to do adult things with you
*moans* pay the mortgage
*breathes* go make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month
Oh GOD! THE CAR PAYMENT!!! THE CAR PAYMENT!!!!
Life hack: if someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it”
Then watch them crash and burn